Almost 6 Months #StayAtHome (#DiKosanAja)

Since the corona virus vastly emerged in Indonesia and spread throughout the country, the government announced that we should stay at home to prevent the disease. Another policies then followed. Only sick people wear the mask--and then later all should wear mask. Work from home. Go online shopping. Shops are closed. Do not gather in groups. Stay away 1 meter from others. Our life has changed in a very short time. This pandemic hit all aspects of our life, indeed.

At that moment, I was still an intern in Glints. I used to go to office almost everyday and went there by bus. I still remembered how crowded the bus is, filled with people who work around Jaksel area. It was so rare to have a seat so I had to stand up for almost an hour for one trip (hehe). Not to mention that there were a looot of traffics along the way home. But now I miss it so much.

Two weeks after that, the office policy told us to work from home until it was safe enough to work back at office.

I enjoyed it for couple days, but then I felt that there's something wrong with me emotionally. Loneliness, overthinking about the future, and the fact that I can't meet my friends were crept inside of my mind quickly. It didn't come to an end. I worried too much until I often cried alone in my small room. Yup, it felt like I had to stuck in one room and seeing the same thing everyday every night; it was so sick. Sometimes I got a burden from my parents to graduate quickly - I should take it easy but at that moment, I couldn't. Actually I had skripsi during that semester, but I don't know why I had no motivation. I even reluctant just to open up the file. My fear about getting failed was big enough to kill my vibe.

I blamed myself a lot. That time, If I told my friends about this, I was afraid if they have bigger problems than mine and I ended up only added their burden so I chose to keep it alone.

Then I realized I had a big stress. My hair got loss, I lose my appetite, I was also afraid of going out because I would meet people and should say hi. I didn't want to get noticed. And I ended up losing like 3kgs.

Two months gone, I found myself still struggling. Cooking was one of my favorite thing to do during those time. So yea, I prepared my lunch and dinner since I have stocks of vegetables and meats in my fridge (happy I could buy a fridge tho). It was the Holy Month already. It was muchh easier the moment when I have fridge. Before that I had to order food through Kulina or Gofood/Grabfood or bought food outside of my kosan but it wasn't efficient because I was usually tired and no mood to go out after working behind my desk.

//back to the topic//

The moment I walked to the fridge, thinking what veggies I should combine, how I cooked it; it was interesting. I took it as a break from my work. I had no idea before that cooking could hype me up, even though it wasn't a fancy meal. Just as simple as mushroom and carrot stir or fried some tofu, could make my day delightful. The seasoning I used actually the simple-est one. One of the key is garlic! Once you put it together with salt, pepper, and pinch of sugar (sometimes not) you can make one tasty and healthy meal. And I love love to mix it with another sauces: oyster sauce, sweet-sour sauce, hot-lava sauce, soy sauce, and... another key: sesame oil!

I realized I cried so much and felt so stressed, but also get small happiness through cooking. Maintaining our body is our responsibility, right? I was so grateful that at least I didn't loose my mind and forget about my health. Alhamdulillah.

Day by day went, the pandemic wasn't getting better but the life must go on. Gradually I was ok with the situation. Sometimes I went out to get fresh air and got some foods or just casually watching the cloudy sky. The other days I didn't go out, locked myself in the room, and did my things.

Meditation is one of many ways to stay healthy inside. I never tried it before so I was worried if it didn't went well *it did hahaha*. Supppa hard. A person in the internet said that one kind of meditation is sholat and yes I agree. It's very difficult to be khusyu' when we aren't trying to. The same went to meditation. Once I tried to focus on one thing (usually about how I maintain my breath), my mind sometimes went everywhere ;_;

But when I successfully count my breath, I felt like there's an inner peace *namaste*. I even slept easier ;)

Another habit that I kept was trying to dress up like I was going to the campus/office. Put the make up on, never left the skincare morning and night, and spent the day in a nice clothes. At least for the top. It was defffinitely enhancing my mood. I also tried to wake up early or not sleeping after subuh. By that way, I would have more time to prepare. Usually, I cleaned up the room, did the laundry, or cooking but when I woke up early I could have a morning workout too which is amazing. So by 10 am I was so ready to open my laptop and get the things done.

One day, my old friend needed some people as her client for a nutrition consultation. I wanna know how's my condition since I lost my weight and get dizzy (maybe hypotension). She said that I was lack of nutrition, like it was a normal weight but still did not get enough energy based on my body needs. I should eat more (esp the healthy foods).

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Never did I thought that I was gonna spent almost all of my days for six months in my tiny room. It was stressful but alhamdulillah I could pass those days ;) And I feel much better rn.

Right now I go back home to Bali for a while. My mom worried about my condition before so she recommended me to just go home. It also will cut the expenses for the family. I don't know when will I return but since some areas become red zones because of corona virus, it is better to stay and spend my time for the family here. It is also comfortable for me finishing my bachelor thesis. Hope everything is well ;;)

Stay safe, we can get around this together.